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Home Wellness

Don’t wallow in doubt and self-pity: How to Stand up for yourself

by Suzanne Connor
in Wellness
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Get rid of self doubt and stand up for yourself
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Self-pity is destructive, not only for your mind but for your soul as well. The seed of doubt grows inside our mind and forms a tree that no matter what we can't get rid of. Self-pity is its neighbor. 

It wouldn't matter the number of appreciation or praise you get. Because you'd still be thinking of it as pity praise instead of a genuine one. 

Doubt works wonders in our minds. It takes root when we least notice it and shows itself at a very crucial moment. And then it becomes a part of our everyday life. And we start to rely on doubt like an old buddy of ours. 

 

So what happens when doubt and self-pity cohabitate our mind? Well, let's just say the drop scene ain't pretty!

 

It's crucial to remember that self-pity can destroy your soul and darken your mind. Fill it with negativity that acts as a toxin. Eventually, you become a shell of a person while your whole mind becomes the projection of that negativity. 

self-pity-victim

How does self-pity come into play

I once read somewhere our attitude shapes our future. 

And it got me wondering about how we think and take things into perspective? If we go by the above statement, would that mean that an optimistic person would have a much positive life then a pessimist, or would both struggle with all the negativity and doubt?

The answer is: both will suffer but their reaction to the situation will depend on the individual’s perspective.

Self-pity restricts us from achieving even the minimalist things. We don't look at the bigger picture and don't exert energy into the things that matter nor do we do anything to overcome our fears. It could be because we lack self-confidence and are unable to achieve more because of self-doubt.

When in self-doubt we:

  • lose our confidence
  • develop irrational fear
  • we start mistrusting
  • don’t take action
  • start questioning ourselves

“Self-pity comes so naturally to all of us. The most solid happiness can be shaken by the compassion of a fool.”

We limit ourselves and don't pursue the opportunities when they present themselves. All because we don't think we might be able to ever achieve something at a larger scale. Self-pity will sabotage all our hopes and dreams. And snatch the positivity out of our souls. 

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Ways to eradicate self-pity from your life

  • Don't make self-pity a choice

When we wallow in self-pity, we fall deep in its tunnel of desperation and depression. Instead of focusing on the negative find the optimism. 

 Now, we have a choice: to be a coward or to be courageous. We can decide to focus on the things that put us down or we can rise above the situation and be brave and face our problems. 

This way we'll be able to decide what kind of personality we really have and whether we are strong enough to overcome what the world throws at us. either you smile or be miserable, it’s your choice.

  • Don't throw a pity party

So, whenever you are feeling down or particularly unhappy, you have the tendency to call in a pity party. And who do we invite to this party? All our toxic thoughts and dark memories and anything and everything that could put a damper on our moods. 

Some of us might have suffered a more traumatized and painful event in our lives. We might have suffered in the past but that doesn't mean we have to suffer in our present and future as well. 

At some point, we have to let go of the resentment we faced in the past. This is the turning point for us. Letting go of everything and everyone that hurt us, disappointed us. Creating a free slate for a newer, brighter future and present. 

We have to shake off all the trauma and negativity. This will ultimately make us stronger, and create a meaningful foothold in our lives. 

  • Determine your future

Know this, if you want to achieve all that the world has to offer, you need to determine your goal. Your future awaits you. And the only way you can reach your future is if you put all your focus and energy on pursuing a better, greater life for you. 

So, stop being a potato couch, drowning in junk, and lacking self-confidence. Take control of your destiny, will for a better life. Liberate yourself from everything that holds you back. Never pity yourself. 

Re-emerge from the ashes of your past and be a bright shining star, one who knows what he/she wants. 

  • Break the shackles of boundaries and run from your imaginary prison

When you create the rules of the game, it is very easy to win. 

Don't focus on a task being impossible, take it as a challenge, and change your perceptions of reality. Be brave in the face of a calamity. Don't let your mind prison hold you captive. 

Run towards your destiny with open arms and embrace all the good things that you have. Don't let others tell you that it is an impossibility. No one can define you but you. 

Only successful persons are able to tell their stories and take pride in them. So, be one of those people, achieve your dreams, and embrace the possibility of winning. 

 

You can't have self-pity. At some point, you have to say, ‘These are the cards I've been dealt, and I'm going to play them.‘

 

You are not a loser, you are a fighter. You will not be defeated until you stop believing in yourself. Be the extraordinary person you know you can be. Achieve greatness in all its glory. 

Make yourself responsible for yourself. Feel all the anger and pain, live it, and then let it go. Move on with your life. Brace yourself for speed bumps along the way. And reach for the light of self-confidence and towards a stronger, better you.

Suzanne Connor

Suzanne Connor

She dabbled in writing articles, papers related to health, wellness, and nutrition which have been published on various websites. She is Observant and quick to analyze situations moreover and has a keen eye for details on the Seven Dimensions of Wellness, Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, Social, Spiritual, Environmental, Occupational and the craving for adventure.

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